she awaits

she knew early on she was unlike the others... it didn't matter... she loved life and people most of all. she relished in time spent laughing, joking, hearing each others stories... she came from a small town, small house, small car but always knew big things, big smiles, big hopes, big smiles. i t wasn't log she moved to a big city... unbeknownst other she thought she was going to a farm land, similar to what she already knew, horses, pastures, barns, the works.. a farm. however, she was mistaken. she couldn't help it she was only 10. off to the city, the bright lights, the big sounds, the beautiful people, how exciting. it was 1985, rat tails were cool. however, mom and dad said no way! thank God she thought in later years but in 1985, a rat tail meant you were against the grain, a rebel, someone who had no time for authority and she didn't. she got on her 10 speed bike and rode around the neighborhood to check out who she was up against... it wasn't long she was greeted by 3 sisters... the Beaman's, who would've thought this chance intro would last 24 years strong.



in her heart she was so home sick. home sick for the south.... she didn't know it yet because she didn't understand where she came from. North Carolina to Kentucky who would've thought the difference? There were sidewalks, sky scrapers, city lights, city buses, all ready for her...



on that day, riding around with her fake rat tail she made from a barbie doll head on her 10 speed she got for her 10th birthday, she rode by a house 2 blocks from hers where 3 girls were outside and began to taunt her. she was so afraid but never let them see it... "who the hell are you" one of them shouted. she rode on as if she didn't hear them, knowing they'd be the one''s she had to befriend. she thought "fuck you", but didn't dare say it, she knew she was outnumbered and in a foreign land.



the school year came quick, 5th grade in a whole new town, whole new people, wow, it was the best... she came in the classroom and one girl, a black girl who she knew had to be cool sat down. they introduced one another and quickly were kindred. then came the girl she met on the bus, catie was her name. she sat down inthe other desk. then, right before it was all to start, this girl with thick rimmed glasses and pretty disheveled said in a sqeaky voice, "Can I sit here?" "Sure" she said, knowing this was not a good choice in seat assignment.